Deciding you want to join a men’s group is a significant first step. But for most men, the momentum stalls at the “logistics” phase.
You might wonder Do I just show up? Is there an Interview? What if I’m not a fit?
Because a high-functioning men’s team relies on trust and consistency, the joining process is more intentional than a typical social club. It isn’t about “gatekeeping”; it’s about ensuring that every man who enters the circle is ready to do the work.
Here is the step-by-step process of how to join a men’s group and what you should expect before your first meeting.
Step 1: Research and Alignment
Before reaching out, you need to ensure the group’s “flavor” matches your needs. As we covered in What Is a Men’s Group?, some groups are purely social, while others—like a Men’s Team—are focused on high-level accountability and personal growth.
What to look for:
- The Schedule: Can you realistically commit to the meeting times (e.g., every Tuesday from 7:00 PM to 10:00 PM)?
- The Philosophy: Does the group emphasize “venting” or “action”?
- The Location: Does the group meet in person or virtually?
Step 2: The Initial Inquiry (The “Talk to a Man” Phase)
Most reputable groups don’t let you “Add to Cart” and join instantly. The process usually begins with a contact form or a phone call.
At Men’s Teams United, we prioritize a “Talk to a Man” approach. You’ll likely speak with a team leader or an experienced member. This isn’t a high-pressure sales call; it’s a two-way screening. They want to hear why you’re looking for a group, and you should ask about their expectations.
Step 3: The Screening or Interview
Because the integrity of the group depends on confidentiality and commitment, there is usually a vetting process. This serves two purposes:
- Safety: Ensuring the group remains a space where men can be honest without judgment.
- Readiness: Checking if you are in a headspace to receive feedback and hold others accountable.
If you are currently in a crisis that requires clinical intervention, the leader might suggest completing that work first, as Men’s Groups are not therapy.
Step 4: Attending as a Guest
Most teams will invite you to visit as a guest for one or two meetings. This is your “test drive.”
During this meeting, you’ll see the structure we detailed in What Happens in a Men’s Group Meeting? in action. You aren’t expected to be the “star” of the meeting on night one. Your job is to observe, feel the energy of the room, and decide if these are the men you want in your corner.
Step 5: The Membership Commitment
If there is a fit on both sides, you’ll be invited to join. This usually involves:
- Financial “Skin in the Game”: Most structured groups have monthly dues. This covers the organization’s costs and ensures members are financially committed to showing up. Our group is around $20 a month. The link to our group is below.
- The Vow of Confidentiality: You will agree that what is said in the circle stays in the circle.
- The Attendance Standard: You agree to prioritize the team meetings over casual social events.
What to Expect Emotionally Before Your First Meeting
It is 100% normal to feel a sense of “threshold resistance” before your first meeting. You might feel the urge to cancel at the last minute or tell yourself you’re “too busy” this week.
This is usually your ego’s way of avoiding the vulnerability of being “seen” by other men. Acknowledge the hesitation, but show up anyway. The hardest part of joining a men’s group is walking through the door for the first time.
Take the First Step
The process of joining is designed to build the very thing most men are lacking: Clarity. If you are ready to stop doing life in isolation and want to see what a high-performance team can do for your marriage, your career, and your mindset, the next step is simple.
Men are great in making excuses. It’s a skill that’s been refined for thousands of years. I suggest when you go to a meeting, talk to the men during breaks and after the meeting ends. Because if you are like most men, picking up the phone and calling people afterwards can feel like chore. And you will get more out of the 10 minute conversation after the meeting.
Men’s team is not for everyone, but I do feel that every man on this planet needs a men’s team. There is something to be said about being surround by men who wants you to succeed without a hidden agenda.
Men’s Team United has supported hundreds of men through structured, in-person teams across Los Angeles. We also have a virtual team that allows from around the world join a weekly team that supports our principles.